My World of Dreams & Wishes-

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
-3:29 PM-

Today, while listening to the SPCA talk, I couldn't help remembering this post in Jonathan's blog. It was the only post I managed to save because the next time I went there, the blog was gone and I could not access it anymore. When I read this post, I was absolutely touched and I cried. (partly cause I'm an emotional person) I think if you read it, you too would be moved to tears. It is amazing that someone with such a beautiful voice can also write so well. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Hi everyone, first off.. thanks for reading this little blog of mine. I'm gonna let it shine, this little blog of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. sorry.. got a little caught up.
i was thinking abit today abt this whole stay in experience, and I realise that this must be how my pets feel like! They stay in and are fed whenever food is given, they move when told to, they meet other people only when introduced by their owners and they can't go out whenever they like! hahahaha... But its all good, cos I don't really spend any money this way. And the place we are staying at is just great, the facilities are great and I have absolutely no complaints. I even got some freebies like teeshirts and a creative mp3 player Mug.A pink earphone which I am not shy abt using too!
Speaking abt pets and animals kept in captivity. I would like to share with you my experience with animals which I never expected to look after but came my way.. (I realised I didnt mention this before)
If you checked out my photo album, There is a photograph of the most beautiful white cat, with tiny black stripes on the tips of her ears, on her paws, and her ringed flowy tail.. to top it off, she had stunningly blue eyes, Her name is smoky, my cat.. I was blessed enough to have her with me ever since she was a kitten. One evening, I was walking to have dinner with my good friend, Elvin. There was a slight drizzle coming from the clouds as we walked past a big drain. The kind with the ladder on the side of the wall of the drain for you to climb down if you needed to get into the drain. As we went past the drain, we heard a faint mewing.. it didnt bother us and we decided not to take further notice. After dinner, we walked back the same path towards Elvin's home. The rain was getting reasonably heavier, and the distant mewing now became screechy and much more intense.. Elvin and myself then decided to check out where that kitten sound was coming from. I was pleasantly surprised to see a tiny bundle of white fur.. hiding underneath the drain trying to find a dry spot amidst the rising water level.
I decided to at least take it out of the drain in case it drowned with the approaching storm. The amazing thing was that, when I climbed into the drain and carried that tiny white kitten out, she did not protest at all... and she was calm and quiet immediately.
As I examined her fur and paws for injuries, I then looked into what was the most beautiful pair of eyes I have ever seen. They were persian blue and bright as icebergs in the sun,
i decided to keep her and name her Smoky because of the smoky tips she had colored onto her paws, ears and tail.
Smoky lived with us from then on, always up to mischief but ever grateful to us at the same time.. she showed this to me at least by always coming to the door when any member of the family returned. Everynight, she would take her position on my pillow just above my head and purr herself to sleep.. in so doing, she would lull me into sleep as well. She was also my loyal companinon as I watched my dvds and read my books.. she would plonk herself on my lap or book with a blatant disregard that was so endearing..
Smoky was taken away from me prematurely though, one fateful evening last year, just abt 2 weeks before christmas.. my band was performing a gig at mohammad sultan road and just after the gig... I was supposed to head down to another pub to talk to the owner about the possiblilities of starting a regular gig there. However, i received a phonecall from my mother and her tone was far from how she normally sound. She said "come home now... I just stepped into the house and smoky is lying on the floor with blood all around her! She can't move and she is just meowing in pain."I rushed back as quickly as I could and took Smoky to a 24 hr vet emergency centre.. My heart sank as I saw her crying and looking at me, unable to move.. I didnt want to think the worst as i always thought that animals would get well and that they are hardy beings. At the animal hospital the doctor told me frankly that her temperature was way below normal and that she had collapsed... but needed rest if she were to recover.
The doctor told me that the chances were slim for her survival and that i should leave the hospital.. the more I stood by her and stroked her perfect white fur, the louder she meowed. she never liked the vet's. She used to refuse to come out of her carrier everytime we paids the vet a visit.
I prayed real hard and told her that I everything was going to be ok if she remained strong. I then took a short video clip of her with my handphone and unwillingly left the vet for her to get her much needed rest.
about 2 hours later I received a phonecall from the vet when I was at the meeting with the owner of the pub (needless to say I was not in the state of mind to discuss any business). Smoky had passed away. because of complications from the spaying surgery she had a wekk before. My beautiful smoky was not going to sleep on my pillow next to me any longer.
I was at a loss for words. i left the meeting and went back to the vet, by this time it was about 2am in the morning and i wanted to see her again before her body turned hard and cold. That was the second time I really felt the sense of loss. (the first was the loss of one my very good friends about one and a half year's ago.. but that's something for another time). The loss of something you love and that you saw grow from a weak dependent to a strong animal. No words could describe that feeling. In retrospect, i feel that that might be the worst feeling for a parent. To lose their child prematurely.
i heard it once said that went something like " A poet wanted to scribe a poem called "loss" on the tombstone of a loved one. But even after a long time, he only managed to carve a few words into the stone, but striked it off, because you cannot describe the feeling of loss, you can only feel it. If you have not experienced it, you will not know what its like."
All this talk about my smoky is making me really tired and I should turn in now... I will blog about Arturo(my dog), whom we all call Toto some other time.. i uploaded a few more pictures of my kitty cat for you look at.
I apologise if you were affected by the story of my smoky.. but i assure you, Toto's story is much more pleasant and optimistic!
Thanks for reading my rantings... honestly, I didnt think I would enjoy blogging, but now I feel it seems to give me an outlet to rethink about certain events and have some closure as well.. anywya, earky day ahead tomorrow. You have a good weekend and I hope to see you at the roadshows happening at bugis and jurong point this coming saturday!! i will be signing as many autographs as my hand can allow this sunday too at bishan junction 8!
See you all soon.

Sincerely,
Jon.

Adapted from Jonathan Leong's blog on Singaporeidol.com. Sadly, we can't acess the blog anymore. It is such a pity!

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